Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Avoiding Atrophy is now a BOOK!

HI HI HI HI HI HI HI THERE! It's me, your girl, Christy! Long time no blog!

Did you miss me and this squinty eye?

Let's get this out in the open straight away: it's been a while.

And you thought I was gone forever, didn't you? Admit it. You thought I had all but abandoned this place, that I had been swallowed up by my new website adventures, and that there was no chance I would ever return to my old Avoiding Atrophy stomping grounds.

Well, friend, you thought wrong.

Actually, well, oops -- scratch that. You were pretty much 100% right. Almost a year ago, I did in fact move my written ramblings over to a brand new site, christyoshoney.com, as I discussed in my concluding blog post. And yes, yeah, okay, true, given the fact that I am doing my thing over there, I haven't really had any intention of doing my thing over here ever again, unless a truly unique circumstance happened to arise.

Well, guess what, friend-o? A truly unique circumstance has arisen.

You ready?

No? Me neither. But whatever, I'll tell you anyway.


That's right! Mama wrote a book! It's called Lifeless Pile of Mush because, whatever, it's my book and I can call it whatever the hell I want. And here's the kicker: it's a book of essays from this very blog!

I'm taking the top-of-the-line posts from Avoiding Atrophy -- the ones that truly represent the spirit of this blog dedicated to finding glimmers of hope in the cesspool of shattered expectations -- and I'm putting them all in one place: a BOOK place! And by "book place," I mean that this is an actual physical book, with pages that you can touch and smell and spill coffee on and litter with margin notes.

Not only am I curating the best essays from this blog in the book, but I'm also annotating them! That means that all of the inner commentary I have while reading these old posts will be available to YOU, the reader. Any new lessons I've learned, any major judgements I have about my past self -- you are going to hear them. So it's basically like being inside of my head, and I don't let a lot of people in there, so you should feel privileged.

So if you have already read every single post on this blog (Have you? I'm not even sure I have...), there is still plenty of new stuff to chew on in Lifeless Pile of Mush

That said, you'll dig this book if any of the following apply to you:
  • You are the kind of person who wants to get the best stuff out of life. 
  • You are the kind of person who has been kicked in the teeth by life, so sometimes you just want to eat a bunch of salt and vinegar chips and watch reruns of Cheers.
  • You enjoy laughing. (You hear it burns calories.)
  • You have big, fat dreams.
  • You need a heapin' helpin' of encouragement to help you achieve those big, fat dreams.
  • You like me and/or my writing.
  • You enjoy this blog.
  • You are a little bit country and a little bit rock-n-roll (and a whole lot afraid of public restrooms).
  • You like honest, complicated examinations of the human experience.
  • You enjoy self-development writing with a whiff of humor and a hint of self-deprecation.
  • You just finished reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and you're not sure what to read next. 
The book isn't out just yet, but right at this very moment, you can pre-order your copy of Lifeless Pile of Mush (at a pretty sweet discount, mind you)! It's also available as an e-book, so if you're totally ready to embrace the future, I've got you covered.

So are you ready to read this thing? Click below to pre-order your copy!

Anyway, just thought you'd like to know this little tidbit. Thanks for following along and for essentially making my most colossal dreams come true. You are aces. 

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